GREEN LANTERN #21-23

Written by Geoff Johns; Art and Cover by Ivan Reis and Oclair Albert

I've been reading Green Lantern for about the last 10 issues now. GL isn't one of the books I look forward two each month but it fills my four comics a week buying quota.

Currently Sinenstro is back and has formed his own Corps to rival the Green Lantern Corps with plans of spreading fear throughout the Multiverse. He's recruited the scum of the galaxy like Superman Prime, and Cyborg Superman, and others, and they're kicking the colllective green police's ass. Not only that, Ion has been possesed by Parallax to join in on the beat down.

I like the art, and there's plenty of action, but why am I so bored by this?

Geoff Johns writes one of my favorite reads each month, the JSA. In a recent issue, he made a story about another legacy of Commader Steel actually seem interesting. In fact he entertains me with character driven stories of the members of the JSA making me care about them despite all their convoluted histories.

With the scope of this story there's no room for any of that. It's just a bunch of aliens flying around some vaugue landscape blasting each other with power rings. In fact, in order to become a Green Lantern your likley to be the most brave heroic person/alien/thing in that sector. That would probably make them another two dimensional character without any real personality, unless your Guy Gardner who's a dick, and completley disposable like all the members who are getting wasted by Sinestro's goons.  

Plus, spreading fear is a weak agenda for a supervillan to have. Who does Sinestro think he is, the Scarecrow?
I think citizens of the galaxy will be scared anyway and fall in order after they witness him killing everybody. He doesn't need to give their inner child nightmares. Sinstro has reason to be pissed at the DCU anyway, why couldn't John's just say he wants revenge. It's a little light in the loafers even for a guy who looks like a fuscia skinned John Waters. I imagine stupid ideas like this usually come from editors though. DAMN YOU DC!

So, will Sinestro win and spread fear throughout the Multiverse?

Whatever. I'm not exactly riveted by the Sinestro Wars but I'll stick with Hal and the gang until the end of the arc because I need something to read in the bathroom, but after that I'm done.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT #1-2 (2007 Papercutz)

Small time comics publisher Papercutz has recently relaunched one of my favorite comic books, TALES FROM THE CRYPT! Sweet, I thought when I first heard about it. I never heard of Papercutz and had to look up on the net. They make comics for tweens like Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. 

At first I thought that may be a bad sign. I want some creepy old school horror comics. The I thought, Tales originally was a kids comic. A little more cutting edge than it's contemporaries but still pretty tame by today's standards.

Then again, the TV show was rated R. That's good for a TV show but I usually don't like rated R horror comics. They mostly make them extra dirty and gory for the sake of being extra dirty and gory and come off lame. It also makes me wonder about the perverts who write and draw them.  

With all this debating I bought it anyway. Besides, out of all the junk I read, I'm skipping this? Puh-lease! My hopes were to get a Tales From The Crypt comic to be like the reprints I read.

I opened to first issue to my dismay to find nothing even remotley resembling Wally Wood or Jack Davis's art. Cheap indie artist were picked to draw the return of one of the most legendary comics ever. The first story was about a down on their luck couple who break into the house of an artist who lives next store to steal his gruesome paintings to sell but end up getting killed by the mosters in them. The art looked like it belonged on a Japanese kid's skateboard. The second story about a dude who still lives at home and collects toys that ultimatley also kill him had no style at all. I seriously should have never given up drawing in highschool. The crap I doodled in my notebook looked better than this. The writing delivered somewhat more by included the usual twist endings and somewhat amusing stories but were way padded out too just to fill the forty or so pages in the book.

I didn't give up on the crypt after that disapointment. I bought issue #2. The art in the first story about a evil slum lord at least aped something like the old series. I still haven't read the second story yet. It was drawn by the same skater art guy from the first issue.

Ae they pruposly trying to tank the comic by alienating the tales fans who would by it? Most comic book buyers are probably more desciminate than me and won't give this new Tales another chance.

I'll give Tales one more shot. If it's ugly again I won't buy it.

STRANGEMACHINECOMICS.COM

Sensational Spider-Man #40 

Writer: Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa
Art: Clayton Crain

This is one of them issues I should have flipped through before blindly buying. If I did that I would have saved three bucks. It's a fill in issue until the One More Day cross-over finale of the series where Sensational and Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man are being dropped to make Amazing three times monthly. 

First off, the art by Crain, while technically very impressive was just ugly to look at. I don't know if it was painted or done with a computer, or painted with a computer, it was just hard to look at. It was realistic, but in a crack induced hallucinagenic kind of way. You have to see it to really know what I'm talking about. He did a few panels in the previous issue when I was first introduced to Crain's work that made Aunt May look like a hideous halloween witch.

Ugly art alone is reason enough for me to put a book back on the shelf but the story or lack of story was worse.

Amazing Spider-man supports the main plot featuring the fall out of Aunt May getting shot by a bullet from the gun of a sniper hired by the Kingpin, intended for Peter. "Friendly" has been veering slightly off that plot by covering what Spidey is doing in between beating himself up over it by fighting some bug lady Ms. Arrow. Fine with me because I can't make up my mind if I even give a crap about this arc from issue to issue in Amazing. With that in mind, Sensational just seems to be retreading that main plot but adding nothing new.  The whole issue is Peter reflecting on his life as Spider-man and the effects it's had on his loved ones with some mysterious mystical homeless man on a trip around NYC. I never seen the character before and don't know if he's new, but he was obviously supposed to be some spiritual touched by an angel/holy spirit or whatever helping Peter see all the good Spider-man has contributed to the world despite his personal pain.    

The worst Spider-man stories, and for the most part all superhero stories are when the writers regurgitate the heroes origins and key past stories. These are the equivilent of clip episodes from sitcoms where they just showed bits from old episodes. How many times can we see homages to the cover of Amazing Fantasy #15, relive the deaths of Uncle Ben and Gwen Stacy, and reflect on how being Spider-man has put frail Aunt May into jeopardy (all in this issue by the way)?   

This is the worst comic books I read in months because it pissed me off for all the forced sentiment.

If they don't have enough new stories to fill three different titles of Spider-man each month I'm all for condensing them down to one title three times a month. Although I'll miss "Friendly".


Action Comics #852-854

Written by Kurt Busiek
Art and cover by Brad Walker and John Livesay

Now this is a good comic. A fun little crossover arc from Countdown about Jimmy Olson getting super powers and patroling the streets as a new hero named Mr. Action. He helps Superman who obviously has trouble taking down the villain The Kryptonite Man. The art was typical all american comic book stuff and the story was light and fun. No bitching and whining about being a super hero. Jimmy loves it. 

Jimmy also reached an epiphany that Clark is Superman with reasons unknown to even himself how he mysteriously just figured it out. I assume that plot will be worked out in the future issues back in Countdown.

It ends with Clark/Superman inviting Jimmy for a tryout in the Justice Leaugue and long lost pet Krypto the Super Dog, reappearing to lend a hand in the fight against the baddy and becoming Jimmy's new pet.  

back to strangemachinecomic.com

MORE OF WHAT I’VE BEEN READING!

In this installment of reviews of what I’ve been reading but don’t actually review anything only to ramble on about funky comic book related topics, I talk about my inner demons and briefly criticize an industry legend.

 

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #7-8 (DC COMICS 2006)

Instead of a back issue, let’s start with my take on a new comic book that I read. It might be best to hide ANY comic book you have when a pretty girl is near you better hide this one most of all. It doesn’t get geekier than some JSA. The Justice Society is geekier than the Justice League. The JLA features all the recognizable superstars and is acceptable for the casual reader. With the Society, there is back story dating back to the golden age and if you picked this one up you probably have a fair understanding of it. You know about the Crisis, why there is an old guy Flash and how come Green Lantern has blonde hair and a funny cape. You even know that Solomon Grundy was born on Monday! This knowledge is proof you spend a lot of time in fantasy land with people in leotards and that aint sexy. After reading this I felt like a smack addict getting his oh so good fix, but then feeling dirty having to hide my problem from the world because normal people like that cute chick at the Applebee’s take out who was sweet enough to remember give me extra ketchup just couldn’t understand. I need my golden age heroes from the old multiverse!

I’m sorry people. I still haven’t made peace with my nerdosity yet. 

What happens in those two issues I'm supposedly reviewing? There's a new Commander Steel spinoff called Citizen Steel in #7, and #8 was about Liberty Belle's life growing up as Johnny Quick's daughter and they were pretty good single issue reads. I'm sorry for not elaborating, I just liked the Applebees anecdote.

Let’s continue…

SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING #21 (DC COMICS 1984)

I only have a few issues of Swamp Thing but he was once one of my favorite superheroes. Somehow I randomly picked one of his most important comics blindly buying back issues (on the cheap of course) in middle school after seeing Wes Craven’s film adaptation. They played it on HBO a million times back in the day and I loved it. That low budget classic introduced me to the mossy protector of the Everglades. Saga of the Swamp Thing #21 is worth about $30 today making it one of my most valuable comics (although try actually selling one, you‘d probably only get a buck for it!). After owning it for over 15 years, I finally read it instead of looking at the pictures trying to draw a cool looking Swampy.

Wow this sucked. This is the one where Alan Moore changed Swamp Thing origin and find out he isn’t really Alec Holland. He’s a plant that just engulfed his consciousness. WHAT?!?!

I knew this issue was going to suck because when I found out it was worth more than my other comics I read about the story before I read the story to find out why. Everyone rides Alan Moore’s jock and justifiably so, (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was an awesome movie!) (just kidding!) (no I’m not, I actually loved it you elitist pricks!!) but this is awful and it completely ruins the character of Swamp Thing for me. What do you mean he’s not a sad scientist trapped in a plant body anymore? Why do I care now? I don’t. I read all about his character history on Wikipedia. None of the stories make any sense to me. They sound like freaky acid trips.

Alan Moore’s legacy is for writing masterpieces like Watchmen, V for Vendetta, and The Killing Joke, (although I never read them) but to me he’s the guy who ruined Swamp Thing. I’m searching out Swamp Thing’s earlier comics before this wacky elemental hippy crap happened because I want to see a lonely superhero vegetable beat up some creepy swamp monsters.

Now for something a little more my speed…

ARCHIE DIGEST

You’ve seen these before on sale at the supermarket checkout lane. All you Neil Gaiman, Frank Miller, and Alan Moore fans out there probably wouldn’t touch one of these reprint books full of the wholesome teenage hijacks of Archie and pals with a ten foot pole, but you Gloomy Gus’ are missing out.

I prefer to read these in the bathroom myself. There’s like a hundred stories in each digest. Perfect to read for a quick pit stop to the lavatory and plenty of stories if your going to be in there a while after eating too much Taco Bell.

The stories are a bit cheesy but Archie is an ok dude, Betty and Veronica are hot, and Jughead is the man. If you don’t find amusement in their goofy misadventures I’m sorry because you’re too cool for me and YOUR HEART IS BLACK!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #178-179, 181 (MARVEL 1977)

These are some of my older brother’s old comics from the late 70’s. Yeah, there’s an issue missing too. Green Goblin is tearing up the city, but who is under the mask because he also has Harry Osborne tied up in a warehouse? That is revealed in #180. I have #181, and that’s a whole new story. I could have bought #180 to find out what happened but I won’t spend $10 to read a single comic book so I had to look it up online. Turns out it was Harry’s psychiatrist who learned all about the art of Green Goblining from his therapy sessions and thought he‘d try to take over NYC.

EC COMICS REPRINTS

I don’t have to tell you these treasures from the 1950’s are great. Back in the early 90’s Gladstone used to sell reprints of these puppies. I only had a couple in my collection and came across them again on my bi-weekly back issue shopping (it used to be weekly but the read pile is getting too tall and I have to catch up). I bought a stack of 10 issues of EC reprints consisting of some Tales from the Crypt, Weird Science Fantasy, Vault of Horror, and The Haunt of Fear. There are 64 pages and eight stories in each double sized comic. I personally like Weird Science Fantasy the best for it’s for the sci-fi slant on EC style stories.

EC stories you know are lurid tales that have surprise shocking twist endings, sporting some of the best art in all of comics. Damn these things can be repetitive though.

It’s the same story over and over. Someone screws over someone, and somehow they die an ironic grisly death because of it. The sci-fi ones usually revolve around space explorers discovering some horrible truth like the end of Planet of The Apes. As much as I love those stories, don’t buy a whole stack like I did. You will be burned out by them. I only read five issues out of the pile so far and that’s 40 stories! They’re not quick reads either. Each short six or seven page story is stuffed with captions and dialogue. I suggest reading only one of these issues a month to keep things fresh or break them out on creepy scary cool days like Halloween, nights when it thunderstorms, or Easter.

SPAWN #12-13 (IMAGE COMICS 1993)

I never read a Spawn comic before this. I try and sample a little of everything (except for Vertigo comics because they look boring and ugly) so I thought I’d give him a try. The Spawn toys look sort of cool. Saw the movie. It was okay. I saw an episode of the cartoon once on HBO and it was okay. These two issues they were okay. I was hoping to get hooked on a new superhero but Spawn’s only okay.

IN CONCLUSION

After I read a good mag like a JSA, I wish there was someone else I could talk to about it like if I’ve just seen a good movie because everybody likes movies, but there’s nobody else in my life shares my hobby. As much as that sort of sucks, comic books are my “thing” which is kind of cool too. I don’t have anybody around to ruin them for me. I used to like Pink Floyd but a friend of mine told me how he listened to The Wall over and over again when his girlfriend dumped him back in high school and they haven’t been as cool for me since.

Until I see someone light candles every year in some freaky shrine honoring all those who have fallen in the Crisis of/on (whatever) Infinite Earths I’m going to keep on reading… Buh Bye!

- Mike

(By Mike James)

Almost every week I buy a stack of about a dozen back issues off the internet. I’ll be one to say that the big comic book bust of the early 90’s when values took a dump was great for a reader like me. As a rule I never pay more than two bucks each for a comic (unless they’re new and I have to shell out 2.99) and thanks to the market’s big bust I never do, usually getting good stuff. I try to mix up what I get to keep stuff eclectic, though that never seems to stray much from Marvel or DC.

My collection of about 650-700 books is a mix my much older brother’s comics he gave me (late 70’s - early 80’s), my initial collection from elementary school through early high school (late 80’s - early 90’s), and sporadic issues from then until the beginning of the 21^st century where I started getting hardcore into funny books again when I was unemployed for an entire year.

When I was inspired to get back into reading comics again after I was deficiently employed I reread my old issues. A lot of the comics seemed like brand new stories to me because I haven’t looked at some of them in nearly 15 years and forgot what happened in others and some I never read at all.

Since I returned to filling my long boxes I’m employed again and I would like to share some of the stuff I’ve been buying and reading from the wonderful world of back issues…

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #363 - 370’s (MARVEL 1992)

Spider-man is my buggy bro. I had (still have) all his toys and watched all his cartoons growing up. Never collected many of his comics though. One comic I did have was the last issue from the first arc Carnage showed up (#363). That one issue kicked ass old school style. Carnage was carnaging up NYC and Spidey had to team-up with Venom to take him down. They catch him at a heavy metal concert and Mister Fantastic and The Human Torch show up and help Spidey defeat Carnage then trick Venom into being captured. It got me fired up to get a few more issues. Next thing you know his parents who were thought dead, show up out of nowhere. Are they real? Are they clones? What are they what? I don’t know but it’s got me hooked to find out. It’s old news what happened but since I never read it, IT’S NEW TO ME SO BACK OFF! It’s got to be bad because I have sporadic issues up till the present and there is no mention of them.

After this arc ties up I know the Clone Saga is supposed to happen next. Reviews say it sucked but that isn’t what will keep me from buying it. The fact that it’s a two year story running over a zillion issues does. There are so many other comics to explore.

THE IRON MAN MANUAL (MARVEL 1993)

This is an interesting book full of schematics of Iron Man’s various armors. It shows the inner workings of the suit with diagrams of how the transmitters, processors, and energy systems work, told in notes by Iron Man himself, Tony Stark. I also have another issue like this all about The Punisher’s armory. The amount of made up technology in this book amazes me in two ways:

1. The detail of the descriptions.

and…

2 . Who the hell comes up with this crap?

It must have taken forever to come up with all this fake stuff. I always wondered how sci-fi writers (as being a writer myself) make up intricate technology like this, Star Trek, Star Wars, and The Matrix. They must have a PHD in B.S.

AQUAMAN #57, 61-63 (DC COMICS 1978)

His hand me down collection isn’t that big (about 150 comics) but my brother must have been a big Aquaman fan. Sifting through his collection he has about 20 issues of the man who talks to fish, second only to his nearly 40 Superman comics. I personally like that power while others think it’s stupid. Probably because sometimes I get lonely and think talking to a porpoise would be cool. Think of some of the people you know, wouldn’t a large crustacean or a tuna be more interesting to gab with?

Anyway, this set of stories picks up after his mid 70’s run in Adventure Comics, which I also have but haven‘t read yet. The issues were only 17 pages long back then but there is more going on in them than most comics coming out on the shelves this Wednesday. Each separate story is based around the arc of him swimming home to tell his wife that their son is dead, killed by Black Manta. That happened in the Adventure Comics run, in the only issue of that I’m missing, damn it! He makes it home, not before a quick team up with Batman to fight that Kobra guy, and his wife freaks out on him blaming poor Aquaman. Aquababy dying must have been a hell of an issue. She forgives him after a battle with his brother Ocean Master and then the series is cancelled.

I love Aquaman. In one scene his telepathy didn’t work because the fish were turned out to be robots. Awesome. How much more “comic book” can you get? As you can tell I’m not one of those guys who pick up books that are “Suggested for Mature Readers”.

His current series is kind of lame with some other younger Aquaman keeping the oceans safe from underwater bad guys with no real explaination of who exactly this guy is. The original, Orin, somehow turned into a squidman and was killed. It's getting cancelled in a few issues and I think it's going to be a long time before Aquaman is cool again.  

IN CONCLUSION

I’m a nerd’s nerd. The hottest words a chick could ever speak are “baby I got your comic books for you.” My love of comic books is geeky enough to alienate me from the cool people but not sophisticated enough for the elitist fan boys. I may die never hearing those beautiful words spoken to me from my wife the Hooters waitress but I continue to feed my habit so stay tuned for my chronicles into the wonderful world comics…